Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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