Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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