I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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