i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
you had me at cake vodka
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
