tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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