You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
