I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
