he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
