last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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