i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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