Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
