im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
