I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
