is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
