I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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