and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
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