what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize