I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
