i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
