I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
