Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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