I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize