I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
