She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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