she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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