Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
