can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
