i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
