i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
