This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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