I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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