guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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