she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
