Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
