In the future we'll all be gay
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
