Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm getting married
To pizza
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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