Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i drank out of a bidet.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize