I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
