maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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