When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
