Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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