I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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