She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
