Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
