what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm just crazy horny about you
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
