we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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