She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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