My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i think i have herpe
just one?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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