That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
