Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There's always time for handjobs
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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