yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I love you. Go after that dick
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
