You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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