Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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