good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
