you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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