just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
