he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize