Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
