I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize