there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
