I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
