I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
